places and people and things and awesome
Lately my heart and my brain have been pretty much working in tandem. It’s been decent, and I’ve been feeling pretty on point with things. My stomach is my biggest issue. This anxiety has to to stop. I can’t handle both my anxiety sending me into a monsoon of emotion, and my stomach throwing it’s own tidal rage into the mix, all due to the anxiety.
Ugh… I don’t understand why my mind is waging a war on my body. I don’t understand why I can’t just make it go away. I’m starting to wonder if putting myself through all this shit is worth it.. Part of me wants to apply for disability and check out from life.
But you know.. I think about that and somehow i’m not ready… I’m not ready to check out. I’m just sick of the pain… I’m really sick of the pain. Mental, physical… It’s getting really over done.